This June, I commit myself to: 1. Carve time to exercise, at least three hours a week (jogging, kickboxing, HIIT) and 2. Save 30% of my earnings, give 10% as church tithe and budget the rest for necessary expenses 3. Get my hair rebonded before the month’s end
Today’s the last day of May, and the last day of my six-week vacation. I am proud and grateful that I got to make the most of my time, volunteering, worshiping, writing and keeping myself busy with the things that mattered to me. I may have had to shelf some plans for a later time, but that’s perfectly alright.
For now, I am just excited to get back to work, start anew in my new school, meet and get to know my new work mates and learn as much as I can.
The national elections happened this month and the results are in:
I pray that they, together with all the other leaders elected into power, would make wise, kind and fair use of that power for the benefit and progress of my beloved country.
Mom and my friend Jhay have joined me in The Feast and I’m so happy that I get to share the blessings with them. I am hoping my brother and my other friend Pami can also join us soon. I’ve already invited my cousin Agnes to go to the Feast Manila one of these days. God-willing, it will all all into place.
There’s so much more I want to do today, but for now, I think I’ll catch up on some of my shows.
You weren’t there when I was a mess. When all I needed was someone to listen as I confess. That I knew I was wrong And I was living a lie all along I kept up a face and wore a mask Pretending to be happy became less of a task I wanted you to save me but you were too busy I guess that’s just how it was all meant to end really Now I am better and stronger and wiser Your abandonment taught me to be a fighter You don’t know this new me — I am not sorry — I have put back my pieces, differently.
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life. Amen.” — Saint Francis
I’ve gotten myself excited for Sunday’s team building activity with The Feast Rizal District Singles Ministry, and it didn’t disappoint as much as I feared it would (because I was really excited for it. #BerylLogic). I had a great time, though I did have a couple of moments where I began wondering when and why it has become difficult for me to socialize with people, only to come to the conclusion that: that’s just how I am.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’d really like to be detailed about this since this is pretty much the whole purpose of keeping a blog.
So, Saturday night, I attended the Feast and anticipated mass that followed in Sta. Lucia. It was my first time and I really enjoyed it. One of the many things I love about attending the Feast are the worship songs. Back when I was teaching in St. Paul College Makati, there was a priest there that told the students that singing worship songs is considered praying twice. I just love that idea, and I love singing, even if I know I can’t carry a tune (for now).
Now, I attended the FSL not only to miss a part of the series and the mass, but also because I wanted to familiarize myself with the eventual meeting place. I received a text message that we should be by the Tropical Hut beside the mall by 5 AM, so I went to bed as early as I could (ended up telling myself some stories just to put myself to sleep) and woke up by 3:15 AM. I was out of the house by 4:15. I was THAT excited.
Needless to say, when I got to the meeting spot, there wasn’t anyone there I knew. I was early, but even then, I didn’t really know anyone in the ministry. Truth be told, I only know a couple of people by name, and some are familiar by face. Also, I am still adjusting to the terms “bro” and “sis”, which is how they refer to each other. I believe it’s one of the (many) reasons I was having a hard time communicating with people. I know that’s a workable area, and I’m taking my time, but it’s still a little difficult to admit just how difficult it is to be around people.
But I wanted this. I want this. I’ve been seeking for a community that I will belong to for such a long time. I haven’t been brave enough to be honest about my need for it, but now I am, and I know it’ll take work and time and effort and adjustment. And I am willing to give it all I’ve got, and with God on my side, I know nothing’s impossible.
So, I introduced myself to the first couple of people I saw: Ate Viva and Paulo Valera. The latter actually asked me if I was an OLOPSCian because I looked somewhat familiar to him. It turns out he was a year ahead of me back in grade school, and he was the batch valedictorian, so I knew of him as well (as it is traditional in my former Alma Mater and place of employment to identify batches by their top students). We eventually joined up with the rest of the attendees from Bluewave Marikina and the Rizal chapters. FBM pretty much dominated the numbers, and to be honest, this made a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way.
Later we got to Phillip’s Sanctuary and had our breakfast. I got to meet some people, only I’m not really good with names so I only recall a couple: Kevin, Doris, Charry, Tolits, Sandra, Margarette, Gio, Aleysa (?), Roarke, Jerold, Edz, Richard, Abby, Glieza, Harley. Most of them I remember because we were in the same team: the Red Sandugo.
We went through the day playing team building games and listened to Bro. JPaul’s talk that centered on building a discipleship. I kind of regret now that I didn’t took down notes from the latter, but I do remember feeling inspired. It also made me think of my plan to become a catechist before. Maybe I’ll be able to make that happen this time.
Now, the games. I’ve attended a couple of team building activities back in college, so I was pretty familiar with most of them. It has been awhile though, and as I’ve written, this time socializing has become a little bit more challenging. I think it could be because I’ve gotten so used to being on my own for long lengths of time, especially this summer, that when I’m around people, I tend to remain comfortable by myself, and I don’t think a lot of people get that.
That said, the activities did help me to at least feel like I was part of something, even if still detached because I was so aware of myself, which can be a burden, apparently. Still, the games were hella fun and the facilitators were also very charming and friendly. My team mates were very fun, funny, supportive and perhaps not as competitive as I am used to with my other teams in my other team building experiences, which makes them refreshing. We didn’t win any of the ‘special awards’ but we did finish 1st runner up, which is something I’m personally very proud of.
I may not have made long lasting friendships just yet, but in time, I believe I could and would. The thing is, I know myself. I know I can’t stand meaningless small talk, and I don’t start conversations with anyone at random. I need some common ground to use as foundation, or a good vibe from the person, which is, unfortunately, rare. I’m not saying they’re mean people; it’s more coming from me, to be honest. I have to be comfortable enough to open up, and that’s not so easy to do with so many people, and such a short amount of time. It’s takes too much energy from me, introvert that I am. I’m not shy or anti-social; I’m just very… particular with who I spend my very limited socializing energy on. I’m trying to work on this, especially since I’m about to start in my new job in a week’s time. Also, I know it’s not very healthy or smart to remain by myself, no matter how comfortable I am. It’s okay to get comfy, just not complacent. I’m doing my best to widen my comfort zone, by going outside of it from time to time and testing the waters, facing my fears. And I think I can be proud of that.
That said, I am very grateful for the opportunity to meet new people in an environment that fosters acceptance, kindness, generosity, tolerance and love. I am thankful for the time that the organizers put into making sure that everyone enjoyed themselves and went home blessed. I am in awe of these people who are from different walks of life, but somehow, we all came together, praised God and learned to work with each other. I look forward to making new friends, learning from other’s experiences, being enriched by the time and trust that they give me so bravely. I admire them for that, and they inspire to be braver myself. I never planned to join the Feast this summer. It just happened, and I truly believe it was part of God’s plan. I’ve never been part of a ministry and I don’t know what else is in store for me here — I’ve only been active for a month and a half — but I remain hopeful and positive about it. I welcome the possibilities.
Now, here are some pictures I grabbed from Facebook, for chronicling purposes: (CTTO)
I confess: this was the first activity we did and the hardest for me. I am guilty of getting confused on which is left and which is right, and there was a moment I got a little frustrated by the lack of understanding between the group, but it doesn’t really show in the picture. It just looked like I was having fun, which I guess I was.
I remember doing something like this during P.E. class back in grade school, only that was more fun. The difficulty here fell on the fact that the people in front weren’t very aware of the people behind them. This was clearly processed once we were done with the activities, and it made me appreciate the game even more. Hopefully, one day I can incorporate it in my class (somehow).
Lunch with my team mates
This is Harley.
He’s the new leader of the Rizal District Singles Ministry. He participated in the events the whole day, wearing that white shirt and looking clean, fresh and quite frankly, too adorable. Yes, he’s my first legit crush in the Feast. I’m a sucker for those mukhang mabango looks, and he can sing too! Looking forward to getting to know him better somehow.
#inspired #motivation #lolJK
I just find him really attractive.
This was after we had lost twice to white team, so we were pretty psyched to get a win. We just had our lunch and it so happened that one of us was an architect, so the game that required to build a bridge with planks was a bit too easy for him. I didn’t participate in this, clearly, and I’d like to believe my absence was also a factor to our win… in some way.
Poles and Tires
I really enjoyed this one, mostly because I was merely acting as a support, though from my experience with the cheerleading practices I proctored for last December, being a mere support is a VERY IMPORTANT job.
The Before Shot
This was taken by the last obstacle course we went through, pre-mud crawl. Before this we, went through a rope bridge, the spider web obstacle and the low ropes obstacles, all of which reminded me of my time during high school, when we had our Citizen Army Training and that time I attended a Red Cross Youth Council team building. I did get a little anxious when I was being carried through the hole during the spider web osbtacle, and I still regret reaching out to the strings. Need to work on my trust issues…
The After Shot
See me in the right side, pink shirt, bun on my head. Don’t I look so happy?!
We were given a discount to try the mudslide so of course I grabbed the opportunity since I was muddy already anyway. Suffice to say, one of the most exciting four seconds of my life.
Over – all, this experience has given me a clearer insight of what I want from being a part of the Feast, and of the Singles Ministry. I’m surrendering it all to God. All my fears, all my hopes, all my dreams, all my wonders. Whatever is in store for me, I am His. I know He’s got me.
I look forward to more experiences like these, and more opportunities to widen my comfort zone and meet new people. Hopefully, and I do believe, that I will find what I’ve been looking and praying for, for so long, here.
I personally think she’s one of the best people in the world. Back when I was getting over a depression of sorts, I would watch countless of videos of her show, and it’ll just be little bit better. More bearable.
I love that she promotes and cultivates kindness in her brand of humor. I love that she highlights the positive, the good, the beautiful, in celebrities and everyday people alike. I love that I can laugh at her jokes and with her, without humiliating or hurting another person.
I just love her. I really wish one day I can bring my mom to her show and watch her live and dance with her and take a selfie with her. That’ll be so perfect.