This is a re-write because everything I had typed got deleted. Annoyingly.
So I woke this morning feeling better than I had yesterday, which is probably because I got to sleep for seven hours straight for the first time in days. I was so uncomfortable yesterday, I ended up taking a cold shower around one in the morning, just to have something to do. I know staying up late will wreck havoc on my body clock, but I’m not too worried. I’ve been a morning person for the past three or four years and habits like that don’t change that quickly. You may be wondering why I’m staying up late when I have to get to work early. Well, it’s because I don’t particularly like going to my job, that’s why. Writing that is both very relaxing and stressful, but more of the former. I’ve got almost a month left, and I’ve been fantasizing about April 16 (the day my contract is officially dunzo) and what I’m going to do in the first moments of freedom (wake up with a smile, say a little prayer of thanks, roll and twist around in bed giddily, prepare bacon and pancakes for breakfast, stuff myself happy and spend the day celebrating the fact that I am “in between jobs” because saying “unemployed” just sounds way to depressing).
Until April 16 though, I have to push myself to get up, get going and show up. I don’t have much time to reflect on this dreary way of existence, luckily, since my learners are starting to pull themselves together and get to work. In fact, I still have two stacks of papers I need to check, three I need to record, and on Tuesday, I have to get in early to update the accomplishments board. Non-graded system for the win? In some cases, it is. I have to admit, I don’t really understand how it all should work (mostly because I got lazy), and I didn’t really asked anyone to explain it to me properly (nasty pride!) so I ended up following what the learners say was the “normal”. Big mistake! I should have known better, I know, but somewhere between being confused about the system, not liking my learners in general (although they are good kids, we just didn’t synced) and missing my old life (which I am grateful to have gotten over with, for the most part), I just didn’t give a damn anymore. And when a teacher, or a person really, doesn’t care, s/he doesn’t do great work.
I’m not sure why I even wrote all of these down. I guess it felt like I had to make some sort of introduction.
Anyway, tomorrow is the Chinese New Year and it’s a holiday. I’m planning to meet up with Pami and Jhay, catch a movie and drag them shoe-shopping for prom on Friday. This will be my first prom as a teacher, and I’m really excited. The original plan was to buy a new dress (black and red, which is starting to become my favorite color, for some reason) that I can wear both for the prom and on Ate Laverne’s wedding in Lucena on the 20th. But then, I realized, I didn’t have budget for a new dress. I’m trying to spend less also, since I’ll be job-hunting soon. Luckily, I dug up a tight-fitting glittery black dress that perfectly fits my ten-pounds lighter curvy physique. (I credit the more than six-month anxiety over work, long walks from J.P. Rizal/ Anonas to Katipunan and lots of water intake to this unexpected weight loss.) I’m going to splurge on the hair and make-up, though I’m still not sure if I want to have my hair up or leave it down. The prom will be in a posh hotel in Manila, and we’ll have service provided by the school, so I won’t really have to worry about being comfortable (hopefully). Oh well, I still have a few days to figure those trivial parts out.
Right now, I am playing the Kardashian Hollywood app on my “new” Acer smartphone, handed down to me by my brother after he got his new iPhone. It’s a pretty addictive game, and I really love the clothes.
What else is there to write about? Well, I’m still not done with my Veronica Mars marathon, though I don’t think I want to do that right now. I also got re-sorted in the new Pottermore a few days ago, and am now in Hupplepuff house. MBTI-wise, it makes sense, though I really think I’m a hybrid Ravenpuff. Yep, these are my priorities right now.
I do have to say though: when I go looking for a new job, I have three requirements:
- It has to be within Marikina, preferably walking distance from my house so I can squeeze in some exercise AND not have to deal with commuter’s fatigue.
- The pay must be equal to the load of work, which for teachers, is never – ending. I’m planning to save up for school AND a car of my own so I need to be smarter with money.
- I want to teach in the high school department, even though I really do miss teaching grade school kids.
I’m not planning to budge on any of these requirements. I know what I want, this time. Once I commit to an institution, it’ll be for a long, long time. Because really, I’m not getting any younger. I need stability. Security. A place I can find balance with life, work and play. In the past three years I have learned this about myself, and I’m determined to get what I want.
With God’s help, of course.
But for now, I’m going to do some reflections.