I have this very weird sense that 2016 is going to be the year I’ll die. And I mean it literally. 

I don’t want to start the year with such a morbid/ somber thought, at least from the perspective of all the things and people I’d leave behind. Looking at in another way though, death would lead me to my true home, to true and perpetual peace. And the more I look at it that way, the more relieved I feel, that all our lives are finite, and we are all going to die eventually. All of this will eventually end. All the bad, as well as all the good.

Maybe I am feeling this way because God wants me to enjoy every moment I will have this year. Maybe I won’t die literally in 2016, but a part of me will. I have a feeling if that’s the case, it’ll probably be the teacher part of me. I paused for a minute there to process through how I’m feeling at the idea of no longer being a teacher. A part of me is sad to lose that identifier. But another part — a strange, unknown part of me — is also relieved by the idea.

Maybe I am bound to lose that part of me to gain a better part, one that I never imagined for myself, but hoped for, secretly, in the deepest recesses of my soul.

Then again, maybe 2016 is just going to be an average year. A year of daily struggles, much like the previous years of daily struggles. Maybe we’ll go through the next 364 days and try to make the most of it. Maybe we’d have good days, great days, perfect days and memorable days. Maybe we’d have opposite days, just to balance things out.
Maybe it’ll all be different, yet the same.
Or maybe it’ll be different, so much so that I can’t even imagine it right now.

Whatever happens though, one thing I know for sure: God’s got me. I shall not fear my life away.

I intend to face 2016 with a fresh outlook in life, with God as the Author of my life. His Will be done.


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