The Silver Lining of An Unrequited Love

I had loved you
From the corner of the room
Hidden from everyone
Hiding, even at times, from my self

I have loved you
In the way I knew best
Just being there if and when you need me
Not that you ever did

I have loved you
And suffered from it
Because I thought love is suffering
And I was only partially right

I have loved you
And it had made me stronger
After I learned that love
Need not be a punishment

I have loved you
Or at least I had thought I did
Because you were the first
To stop my world from spinning

And I have loved you
The only way a 14 year old could
But it was not to be
Because it wasn’t love

But still, I have loved you
And the memory of you, of those feelings, lingers in me
For I do not regret the four years I gave for you, for my feelings
For they made me who I am today

And when I love again
I plan to shout it to the world
For all to hear
For all to know

For loving you then had made me braver and smarter
For loving you then had taught me to love myself enough
That whatever rejection or negativity comes my way
I can carry my own

I can love without fear
And you taught me that
Even if you may not have known it
And for that,

I will love the memory of you for the rest of my life.

– BJAV


To RAOK, 

It’s been a while since I got to write a poem for you. I threw away the red notebook that contained all my works inspired by you. I don’t regret it. This poem is my good bye to you, and my hello to the future. Even if I know you may never read it, I want to say thank you. For making my life more colorful. 

Good bye.

B

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