If there were no questions in me, if I could write down how I am supposed to live my life, ideally, it would be like this:

I would wake up at 4 in the morning, say a short prayer of thanks for the new day. I would get out bed, stretch, and put on my jogging clothes. I would drink a mug of warm lemon water, go for three to five rounds around the village — light jogging, mixed with some power walking — until I get a bit sweaty and/ or hungry. I get back home, take a nice cold shower, and then eat a healthy breakfast — oatmeal with fruits, most likely. I may or may not opt to drink coffee while I watch the news of the day. It’ll be around 5 AM by then. I’d get dressed, put on make up, say a little prayer for the day to be productive, wake mom up (her breakfast coffee, waiting for her) and go to work. I’ll be listening to Play FM all the way to work, or if not, my morning playlist will set the mood of the day. Before I go to school, I’ll drop by the church and say a little prayer for the people in my life, and the people who need prayers. When I’m in school, I will greet every person I meet with a smile, and a cheery “Good morning!” Once in my room, I will visit the classroom altar and say a little prayer for my tasks of the day. Then I will review my tasks for the day, and then open all the cabinets, bring out the modules and materials I will need. I will then drink a nice gulp of water, and take a minute to visualize how I would like the day to be like. When classes start, I will welcome my learners to the class with a smile. We will proceed with the tasks, and I will keep a level head. During recess and lunch breaks, I would fix the room for the next classes. At the end of the class, I would say a little prayer of thanks at the classroom altar, and then fix my things. I will lock up all the cabinets and leave the room in order. I will drop by the church again, just because, and then I will listen to my pre-evening playlist, or to my Album of the Moment or to Play FM. When I get home (after walking), I will rest for ten minutes, take a nice shower, prepare for tomorrow’s baon while I get dinner ready and watch the news. I will go to bed at 8 PM, read a few chapters of my Book of the Moment, and then before I go to sleep around 9, I will pray to my Guardian Angel.

The next day will be somewhat similar. Saturdays will be taken over by house chores in the morning, then a lenghty me-time in the afternoons. Sundays will be family day; mom, brother and I will go to church, have breakfast in one of the many food stores in the area, perhaps visit dad’s grave too, and then in the afternoon, we get to prepare for the week ahead.

This would be my ideal life, but life isn’t ideal. Some parts of what I have imagined, I actually am doing already, but for the most part, all these are mere fantasy. Though I know it is actually possible to have this in reality, I have a feeling that even if I did, I won’t really be able to appreciate it. I guess it’s just my nature to be discontented. I am actually worse when I feel content with things, so I guess this is better. To want something, and to know what it is, but to know with absolute certainty, that it cannot be, is tad bit better.

Over-all, I am happy with my life. I’m constantly adjusting, and re-adjusting. But I am aware of what is happening, and I am more than sure that whatever gets thrown my way, God will be there to guide and protect me. I wouldn’t ask for more.

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